Time Gone By
They say one in ten, one in five, one in three, All I know is that it happened to me. More than once, more than twice, Each time I paid the price
I told myself it wasn’t so bad, It could be worse, you should be glad. A smile so big, but it was all for show, Keep it in, don’t let them know. One drink, two drink, three drink, If I could do anything but over think. Drunk and alone I let myself cry, Sobbing and wondering, wondering why.
A year and a half gone by, What if they don’t believe me, and I begin to cry.
“Somebody help me”, inside I’m screaming, It’s time to tell them how I’m feeling. Once upon a time, I was a victim of a crime.
I could see he wanted more than just kissing, But there was something so vital missing. “I don’t know if this is a good idea” All I can think is that he didn’t hear.
With it thrust in my face, “but I’ve got a big dick,” he said, In fear I laughed and I turned my head. My knickers are moved to the side, And then I freeze, wishing I could hide.
A year and a half gone by, I don’t think they believe me, and I begin to cry.
I thought I would feel better, Talking to someone other than myself in a letter. I thought I’d got over the worst, But in reality it felt like my emotions had burst. Feeling most misunderstood, I hid in my bed for as long as I could. All my emotions shouting louder still, I went to the doctors to give me a pill. I tried different therapies for professional advice, Absolutely nothing seemed to suffice. Why can’t I get over this? How I wish I could take back that kiss.
Two and a half years gone by, And now I realise there’s no more need to cry.
Everyday I get stronger, Realising I don’t need to feel sad any longer. I’ve learnt its ok to feel down once and a while, As long as each day there is one real smile. I have learnt to love myself, my body, my womanhood, Even though things are different in my adulthood, Different to how I thought they would be, One thing I can count on is that I will always love me. I feel empowered, I know it is he, not I that is the coward, And I will work to end this epidemic crime, I will just take it one day at a time.
They say one in ten, one in five, one in three, All I know is that it happened to me. More than once, more than twice, Each time I paid the price
I told myself it wasn’t so bad, It could be worse, you should be glad. A smile so big, but it was all for show, Keep it in, don’t let them know. One drink, two drink, three drink, If I could do anything but over think. Drunk and alone I let myself cry, Sobbing and wondering, wondering why.
A year and a half gone by, What if they don’t believe me, and I begin to cry.
“Somebody help me”, inside I’m screaming, It’s time to tell them how I’m feeling. Once upon a time, I was a victim of a crime.
I could see he wanted more than just kissing, But there was something so vital missing. “I don’t know if this is a good idea” All I can think is that he didn’t hear.
With it thrust in my face, “but I’ve got a big dick,” he said, In fear I laughed and I turned my head. My knickers are moved to the side, And then I freeze, wishing I could hide.
A year and a half gone by, I don’t think they believe me, and I begin to cry.
I thought I would feel better, Talking to someone other than myself in a letter. I thought I’d got over the worst, But in reality it felt like my emotions had burst. Feeling most misunderstood, I hid in my bed for as long as I could. All my emotions shouting louder still, I went to the doctors to give me a pill. I tried different therapies for professional advice, Absolutely nothing seemed to suffice. Why can’t I get over this? How I wish I could take back that kiss.
Two and a half years gone by, And now I realise there’s no more need to cry.
Everyday I get stronger, Realising I don’t need to feel sad any longer. I’ve learnt its ok to feel down once and a while, As long as each day there is one real smile. I have learnt to love myself, my body, my womanhood, Even though things are different in my adulthood, Different to how I thought they would be, One thing I can count on is that I will always love me. I feel empowered, I know it is he, not I that is the coward, And I will work to end this epidemic crime, I will just take it one day at a time.
Publications
You can find some of my Poetry publications here:
- For Women Who Roar - Me Too Poetry Ebook Volume 5 (December 2019)
- Poets Versus Sexual Harassment: An Anthology Volume 5 (May 2020)
- Dark Poets Club (September 2020)
- Pluviophile: Digital Mental Health Anthology (October 2020)
Workshop
If you'd like to join me for my monthly workshop 'Writing for Healing' in collaboration with Poets Versus and partnership with UN Women UK, you can sign up here.
The workshops run on the first Tuesday of every month 7-8.30pm GMT. We start with a writing warm up and then write pieces based on two poetry prompts. One of the prompts remains the same for each workshop and you will be given the opportunity to submit this piece for our publication: Poetry on Safe Space.
